ZoSopp Comm V-Day Quickie
Feb. 14th, 2009 02:19 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dethoratsTitle: Triangles
Rating: G
Pairing: Zorogiri + Usodabada (Zoro + Usopp)
Word Count: 829
Note: Chopperman AU
The evil super genius, Dr. Usodabada, was having a bad day. Once again his plans for world domination had been unfairly foiled by his nemesis, the terminally cute and adorable Chopperman. It had been such a brilliant plan, one of his best. Valentine's Day meant love and hearts and chocolate and flowers and other such niceties, all sorts of things that appealed to Chopperman's more pedestrian and juvenile senses. With his best agent Robiflowan controlling a crop of nefarious genetically engineered roses, Zorogiri applying his talent for onigiri haiku to any card bearing hearts, and Sanjilops out playing cupid and pursuing Namifia, the mind that was clearly behind Chopperman's success, Usodabada himself had taken on the task of undermining the city's chocolate supply...and seeing to it that Chopperman ate at least ten boxes of the poisoned sweets.
Unfortunately, Chopperman had gotten to Robiflowan first and the mysterious flower woman had been undone by his Kyun Sparkle attack. The superhero was just too cute for any woman and most men to resist and Robiflowan had been left, eyes turned to throbbing hearts of adoration, in the confines of her flowers, rose vines tenderly cradling her. That had been all that was necessary to defeat Sanjilops as well, Namifia cleverly leading him on a spending spree across the city until she'd come across poor Robiflowan. Sanjilops had been unable to resist the sight of his beloved Robiflowan in distress but the roses hadn't taken too kindly to his tramping feet and grasping arms. And so the amorous lizardman had been captured as well while Zorogiri had failed to even make an appearance, leaving just Dr. Usodabada to enact his plan.
There was just one thing he hadn't counted on: Chopperman's insatiable love of chocolate and the city's willingness to show affection for the beloved hero. He had tried every single candy store, supermarket, and gas station in the city in search of even a single chocolate bar but each location he tried was sold out. The patronizing looks and pathetic alternative suggestions he received only increased his anger, matching the pain in his poor feet as he raced around. Finally, around nine o'clock, footsore, frustrated, and frantic, Dr. Usodabada had paused for breath and to regroup. The selection of televisions playing behind him had flickered through various sickening tales of love and then finally stopped on a chubby and chocolate-smeared hero beaming gratefully at the cameras with Namifia by his side.
Dr. Usodabada shook his fist and railed at the televisions, ignoring the sidelong glances and wide berth given to him by a few passersby. His perfect Valentine's Day plot had been foiled, he'd failed to take over the city and then the world, his feet hurt, and he hadn't even gotten any chocolate in the bargain. Sweet Dr. Kayaya down at City General hospital had been too busy tending to his minions to even think about going out for a late dinner and so the defeated and heartbroken evil genius had trudged back to his lair, each blistered step reminding him of his failure.
His lab/lair was quiet and empty, with his henchmen all out on dates and the stronger minions in the hospital. It had been a long, bad day and all Dr. Usodabada wanted was a bite to eat and a long soak for his tired feet. In the morning he'd launch another genius plan but at the moment it was time to call it a night.
The kitchen was dark, only the hob light and the faint red glow indicating the back burner had been set to low cutting the shadows. The kettle was on the back burner and a cup of tea sounded like the perfect cure for a bad day. Dr. Usodabada padded about the kitchen, finding a tea bag and a mug before hunting down the sugar. It was then that he noticed the card and the plate set off to one side.
The simple red heart on the front of the card bore a familiar diagonal slash and the evil genius hmm'd softly as he twirled one end of his mustache. Apparently Zorogiri hadn't gotten entirely lost after all. Dr. Usodabada opened the card, noting the thick black marker slashes through the original message before he turned to the spiky script now adorning the back of the cover.
Man's heart desires
onigiri pure and true
triple-sided love
And on the plate were three onigiri, arranged casually just so:
/_\/_\
\ /
Dr. Usodabada made his tea and then carried the plate with him back to his quarters. The onigiri were delicious, as they always were when made by Zorogiri's nimble, bladelike hands, and the filling was an unexpected treat. That night, Dr. Usodabada licked chocolate off of his fingertips and stuck the card in the drawer that held his few mementos of victory. He went to bed planning for the morning and dreamed of a sleepy swordsman making onigiri with pickled Chopperman for a filling.
Rating: G
Pairing: Zorogiri + Usodabada (Zoro + Usopp)
Word Count: 829
Note: Chopperman AU
The evil super genius, Dr. Usodabada, was having a bad day. Once again his plans for world domination had been unfairly foiled by his nemesis, the terminally cute and adorable Chopperman. It had been such a brilliant plan, one of his best. Valentine's Day meant love and hearts and chocolate and flowers and other such niceties, all sorts of things that appealed to Chopperman's more pedestrian and juvenile senses. With his best agent Robiflowan controlling a crop of nefarious genetically engineered roses, Zorogiri applying his talent for onigiri haiku to any card bearing hearts, and Sanjilops out playing cupid and pursuing Namifia, the mind that was clearly behind Chopperman's success, Usodabada himself had taken on the task of undermining the city's chocolate supply...and seeing to it that Chopperman ate at least ten boxes of the poisoned sweets.
Unfortunately, Chopperman had gotten to Robiflowan first and the mysterious flower woman had been undone by his Kyun Sparkle attack. The superhero was just too cute for any woman and most men to resist and Robiflowan had been left, eyes turned to throbbing hearts of adoration, in the confines of her flowers, rose vines tenderly cradling her. That had been all that was necessary to defeat Sanjilops as well, Namifia cleverly leading him on a spending spree across the city until she'd come across poor Robiflowan. Sanjilops had been unable to resist the sight of his beloved Robiflowan in distress but the roses hadn't taken too kindly to his tramping feet and grasping arms. And so the amorous lizardman had been captured as well while Zorogiri had failed to even make an appearance, leaving just Dr. Usodabada to enact his plan.
There was just one thing he hadn't counted on: Chopperman's insatiable love of chocolate and the city's willingness to show affection for the beloved hero. He had tried every single candy store, supermarket, and gas station in the city in search of even a single chocolate bar but each location he tried was sold out. The patronizing looks and pathetic alternative suggestions he received only increased his anger, matching the pain in his poor feet as he raced around. Finally, around nine o'clock, footsore, frustrated, and frantic, Dr. Usodabada had paused for breath and to regroup. The selection of televisions playing behind him had flickered through various sickening tales of love and then finally stopped on a chubby and chocolate-smeared hero beaming gratefully at the cameras with Namifia by his side.
Dr. Usodabada shook his fist and railed at the televisions, ignoring the sidelong glances and wide berth given to him by a few passersby. His perfect Valentine's Day plot had been foiled, he'd failed to take over the city and then the world, his feet hurt, and he hadn't even gotten any chocolate in the bargain. Sweet Dr. Kayaya down at City General hospital had been too busy tending to his minions to even think about going out for a late dinner and so the defeated and heartbroken evil genius had trudged back to his lair, each blistered step reminding him of his failure.
His lab/lair was quiet and empty, with his henchmen all out on dates and the stronger minions in the hospital. It had been a long, bad day and all Dr. Usodabada wanted was a bite to eat and a long soak for his tired feet. In the morning he'd launch another genius plan but at the moment it was time to call it a night.
The kitchen was dark, only the hob light and the faint red glow indicating the back burner had been set to low cutting the shadows. The kettle was on the back burner and a cup of tea sounded like the perfect cure for a bad day. Dr. Usodabada padded about the kitchen, finding a tea bag and a mug before hunting down the sugar. It was then that he noticed the card and the plate set off to one side.
The simple red heart on the front of the card bore a familiar diagonal slash and the evil genius hmm'd softly as he twirled one end of his mustache. Apparently Zorogiri hadn't gotten entirely lost after all. Dr. Usodabada opened the card, noting the thick black marker slashes through the original message before he turned to the spiky script now adorning the back of the cover.
onigiri pure and true
triple-sided love
And on the plate were three onigiri, arranged casually just so:
/_\/_\
\ /
Dr. Usodabada made his tea and then carried the plate with him back to his quarters. The onigiri were delicious, as they always were when made by Zorogiri's nimble, bladelike hands, and the filling was an unexpected treat. That night, Dr. Usodabada licked chocolate off of his fingertips and stuck the card in the drawer that held his few mementos of victory. He went to bed planning for the morning and dreamed of a sleepy swordsman making onigiri with pickled Chopperman for a filling.
