ZoSopp Challenge #52
Oct. 23rd, 2008 06:32 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dethoratsPrompt: In Sickness and In Health
Rating: PG
Word Count: 461
Note: Well, it's something.
Of all of Usopp’s many ailments, Zoro had decided he liked ‘Sudden Sniper-Elbow Syndrome’ the best. It wasn’t one that occurred too often but the long-nosed sharpshooter had relapses just often enough to make the swordsman feel appreciated. The further the Straw-Hat pirates sailed down the Grand Line, the scarier many of their opponents and the wilder Usopp’s various medical excuses for hiding behind his nakama became. Still, shaking knees, chattering teeth, and an unfailingly steady hand stood side by side with Zoro with enough frequency to make the swordsman privately proud of the younger man and let him agree to the unspoken indulgence that was an attack of the ‘Sudden Sniper-Elbow Syndrome.’
It tended to strike when their opposition was of the sillier sort; basically harmless by the ridiculously high threat standards Zoro had set for himself. They were the kind that Usopp and Nami probably could have defeated on their own, the type that – had he not been stricken – the sniper could use to bolster his ego and claim a win. And yet sometimes that darn tricky syndrome would crop up, making Usopp lower his slingshot or Kabuto and clutch at his aiming elbow as he scooted back behind the safety of Zoro and his drawn blades, declaiming his pain with just enough of a twinkle in his eye to make Zoro grin around Wadou’s hilt. That was his cue, his chance to show off and be a big bad protector for all of the minute or so it usually took him to utterly decimate the idiots foolhardy enough to stand their ground. Miraculously, Usopp’s attack of ‘Sniper-Elbow’ always seemed to clear up just as the last bodies fell into the sea, leaving him free to offer Zoro a helping hand raiding pockets and straightening up any incidental damage to the ship.
An unusual ailment, Chopper couldn’t find ‘Sudden Sniper-Elbow Syndrome’ in any of his medical textbooks but Usopp insisted it was real enough. And Zoro never questioned it. ‘Sniper-Elbow’ may never have struck Soge King but Usopp’s affliction – for what it was worth – was genuine. The side effects, the ones that made Zoro’s smile go slightly predatory whenever he contemplated telling the reindeer doctor about them, had an amazing ability to affect those nearest to the suffering party and the unusual tendency to, once the ailment retreated, result in elevated hormone levels and a certain excess of embarrassingly mushy emotions. It would have been enlightening to Chopper, the swordsman sometimes thought, to learn that not every illness had to be entirely negative or cured with medicine. But Zoro kept that knowledge to himself. He wasn’t quite ready to handle explanations or the empirical tests their doctor would undoubtedly want to perform, and he didn’t think Usopp was either.
Rating: PG
Word Count: 461
Note: Well, it's something.
Of all of Usopp’s many ailments, Zoro had decided he liked ‘Sudden Sniper-Elbow Syndrome’ the best. It wasn’t one that occurred too often but the long-nosed sharpshooter had relapses just often enough to make the swordsman feel appreciated. The further the Straw-Hat pirates sailed down the Grand Line, the scarier many of their opponents and the wilder Usopp’s various medical excuses for hiding behind his nakama became. Still, shaking knees, chattering teeth, and an unfailingly steady hand stood side by side with Zoro with enough frequency to make the swordsman privately proud of the younger man and let him agree to the unspoken indulgence that was an attack of the ‘Sudden Sniper-Elbow Syndrome.’
It tended to strike when their opposition was of the sillier sort; basically harmless by the ridiculously high threat standards Zoro had set for himself. They were the kind that Usopp and Nami probably could have defeated on their own, the type that – had he not been stricken – the sniper could use to bolster his ego and claim a win. And yet sometimes that darn tricky syndrome would crop up, making Usopp lower his slingshot or Kabuto and clutch at his aiming elbow as he scooted back behind the safety of Zoro and his drawn blades, declaiming his pain with just enough of a twinkle in his eye to make Zoro grin around Wadou’s hilt. That was his cue, his chance to show off and be a big bad protector for all of the minute or so it usually took him to utterly decimate the idiots foolhardy enough to stand their ground. Miraculously, Usopp’s attack of ‘Sniper-Elbow’ always seemed to clear up just as the last bodies fell into the sea, leaving him free to offer Zoro a helping hand raiding pockets and straightening up any incidental damage to the ship.
An unusual ailment, Chopper couldn’t find ‘Sudden Sniper-Elbow Syndrome’ in any of his medical textbooks but Usopp insisted it was real enough. And Zoro never questioned it. ‘Sniper-Elbow’ may never have struck Soge King but Usopp’s affliction – for what it was worth – was genuine. The side effects, the ones that made Zoro’s smile go slightly predatory whenever he contemplated telling the reindeer doctor about them, had an amazing ability to affect those nearest to the suffering party and the unusual tendency to, once the ailment retreated, result in elevated hormone levels and a certain excess of embarrassingly mushy emotions. It would have been enlightening to Chopper, the swordsman sometimes thought, to learn that not every illness had to be entirely negative or cured with medicine. But Zoro kept that knowledge to himself. He wasn’t quite ready to handle explanations or the empirical tests their doctor would undoubtedly want to perform, and he didn’t think Usopp was either.
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no subject
Date: 2008-10-24 04:58 am (UTC)Random reccage for you: I just finished In Defense of History by Richard J. Evans and really enjoyed it (I was all A-FUCKING-MEN).
Also, vastly better than the variety to be found on AFFN, I found this for you. XDDDD
*is going to Hell*
no subject
Date: 2008-10-27 08:42 am (UTC)I...Thank You. From the bottom of my wrong little heart...thank you for that link.
The reccage also looks awesome and when I have some time...I shall go to it.
no subject
Date: 2008-11-01 12:53 am (UTC)LIFE DEBT GET! XD
no subject
Date: 2008-11-02 02:58 am (UTC)Yeah, that author was clearly inspired, perverse, and brilliant. Oh, and fucking hilarious and witty. Also, I was disturbed almost as much by my sheer retained knowledge of Care Bears canon as by the wonderful raping of it that the story entailed. Holy crap, no wonder I have trouble with Japanese vocabulary. Most of my brain meat is taken up with useless Care Bear trivia. Orz.
But seriously, THANK YOU AGAIN. I keep rereading it and laughing my ass off. It's A++
no subject
Date: 2008-11-03 07:31 am (UTC)Then again, with my luck, I'd earn a reputation as "that chick who asked for MLP pr0n for Yuletide".