Enies Lobby Fic

[dethorats]

A ways back, I'm thinking maybe nearly 2.5 years ago at this point, onepieceyaoi had a lyric wheel fic project. I was given some AMAZING lyrics and, since Water 7/Enies Lobby was just getting underway, THE fight was fresh in my mind. I wrote the following fic for it.

Title: Believe Me When I Say
Rating: PG
Pairing: UsoLu
Word Count: 1857



There were moments when he had paused, looked into bright, laughing eyes, and wondered. Just how much did Luffy really believe and just how much was an act? Really, how could anyone, even a person as clearly as clueless as Luffy was, believe some of what came out of his mouth? Chopper at least had the excuse of innocence and the kind of sheltered, unusual upbringing that was as wild as any tale he’d ever spun. But Luffy, Luffy had no such excuses. He had a brother as they’d all learned, and some kind of mentor, and there was no way a person as reckless and casual as Luffy was could have made it to age seventeen without the steady guiding hand of at least one loving adult. Of course there was always the possibility of divine providence, he’d seen enough to know the boy was blessed with unbelievable fortune, the kind that ran both ways. The truth, though, was likely much more mundane.

Little white lies slipped from between his own lips as easily as the air he breathed. Long ago they’d become his bread and butter, the one thing strong enough to keep him going in the face of terrible loneliness. And when he’d met her, well, then they’d become a kind of currency too; the shining coins that bought him precious moments in her presence, a friend who knew he was lying and didn’t care. She valued him all the more instead. He never could look on any of his lies as anything other than harmless stories; tiny despite the grandeur and scope they eventually took on. So he kept on telling them despite the fact that between Kaya and his own small pirate crew he no longer felt so very alone.

When Luffy and company had arrived at his village, it was Zoro who frightened him. How could it be otherwise, with his three swords and his scowl and his reputation that had reached even this backwater corner of East Blue? Luffy had believed his initial claim of greatness and 8,000 men, he was pretty sure of that. Luffy had believed a lot of things or so he’d thought. When they’d gone after Nami and he’d faced his first real test of bravery away from home, he hadn’t backed down. Of course his victory wasn’t exactly the kind of fight that could be described blow for epic blow. It was hard-won, true, but his methods weren’t even remotely similar to everyone else. Saying that he’d managed to trick the fish-man with cooking ingredients and a rubber band and then beaten him with a well-placed spark and a trusty hammer just didn’t have the same kind of ring to it as claiming he defeated him with special shots that had cool names and even cooler effects and all of it thanks to his mighty arm and keen eye. Zoro and Sanji had shaken their heads, the disbelief clear, but Luffy had hung onto every word. And why shouldn’t he? After all, his own fight had been amazing. So had Zoro’s. So had Sanji’s. Why wouldn’t his chosen sharpshooter have achieved a spectacular victory in much the same way?

It wasn’t until they had reached the Grand Line that he’d seriously begun to question Luffy’s sincerity. Really, his stories were getting more and more outrageous as he struggled to help everyone pass the time and to cover up his own growing fear as they faced dangers even his imagination couldn’t have created. And still the captain hung on to every word, jaw dropping at just the right places, eyes wide and shining, making just the right kind of noises, saying just the right thing to urge him on to higher and higher places so that the plateau of his tales, his mountain of little lies, soon towered miles above the dull plain of his reality. Somewhere along the way he’d stopped needing his stories so much for himself. Instead what he needed was that look. There was a gleam in Luffy’s eyes akin to the one that shone when he watched Zoro train or saw Sanji in the kitchen or was able to sit still long enough to observe Nami at the mysterious work that went on in her room; a light that spoke more clearly than words, said ‘you are special, you are my nakama.’

Then that too hadn’t been enough. He’d gotten greedy or needy or maybe it was simply that he’d fallen harder, more thoroughly than the rest of his companions. He wasn’t anybody compared to them. He was the guy Luffy looked to as a source of entertainment and inspiration for pranks that would actually work, the guy who fixed the ship as best he could and occasionally managed to feel like he wasn’t complete dead weight when they were boarded by idiots, marine and pirate alike. He wanted to be more. He wanted to see that light directed at him when he wasn’t telling stories. He wanted to feel worthy.

The sand kingdom was a turning point. Finally he believed that his actions had made a difference. Finally he could see that he really was one of them, bound to Luffy and all of the captain's chosen people by a simple black X, a strip of white cloth, and the knowledge that they could do anything. His own battle with Chopper had been epic, an equal to that of his companions. Of course, being who he was, he had to embellish just a little bit. Luffy had listened, sitting on a bed in Vivi’s castle with bandages still wrapped around his head and impatient for the food he’d been promised, spellbound long enough that the first course had made it to the table before the Straw Hat pirates and that was a small miracle in and of itself.

Two days later he’d told the story again, with added elements just to keep things interesting, and still Luffy had hung onto every word. In the twilight the captain was all eager eyes and wild mane, hat clutched in one hand as he savored the feeling of salt spray and a brisk tailwind. Luffy was suddenly different in his sight, almost ephemeral in that white robe and yet so solid as he laughed at whatever had just been said. His fingers had itched for something, a pencil or a brush or even a burnt stick, that would let him capture the sight. Instead, surprising himself with courage and feelings he couldn’t quite name, he’d filled his empty hands with Luffy’s forearms and leaned in. By the time he’d pulled away shadows crossed the deck, shrouding everything in darkness. Yet he could see quite clearly the glint in his captain’s eyes as Luffy’s stare pinned him in place. Breathless he’d waited for whatever would come next, a punch, an exclamation of surprise, for Luffy to turn and walk away. Finally, as the silence stretched, wrapped up the moment in a growing sense of wrongness, he tried to stammer out an excuse; another lie but one that was far from little and far from innocent. And Luffy cut him off, so simply and quickly and forcefully that he didn’t have time to question, too busy with the smiling mouth against his, the slim frame in his arms.

It wasn’t until later, when they’d gone too far to just stop, turn back to the way things had been, that he began to question even that new twist to his life. Perhaps it was a liar’s curse to doubt the honesty of friends. Perhaps it was just his own paranoia and lack of confidence. Either way, thoughts began to nibble at back of his mind. Could this be real? Could Luffy truly feel the same way? Did the captain believe everything he whispered in the dark, words that came directly from his heart? Or was it false, the way the other boy met his gaze, returned it so steadily? Was it possible that Luffy had told his own share of lies, viewing them as little, white, inconsequential things as long as it kept him happy? He didn’t want to disbelieve. Wrapped up in that ship, that crew, that young man, he couldn’t separate his identity any more. Too much of his ego, of his life, depended on Luffy. And he felt sometimes, late at night with a dark head resting on his shoulder and the deck of the ship he loved so much still warm against his skin, that without these crutches he would stumble and fall.

And then he did fall, toppled into a deep dark well where no light could reach him as he struggled to stay afloat. He didn’t know what to believe. There had always been some slim comfort in the lies he told himself but not this time. His heart was splitting and he forced himself to draw a line in the sand. Never before had he fought as he did that day. He was calculating, ruthless, burning with anger, and yet inside he was numb. The lessons taught by examples too numerous to name had been learned well. He came close, far closer than he had ever imagined possible. Ultimately he’d lost. Lost nearly everything he’d come to hold so dear. He didn’t watch as they’d walked away. A part of him knew that Luffy was hurting as much as he was, maybe more. It hadn’t been a lie after all.

The loneliness had been the worst. It beat at him, an incessant thrumming headache, a nagging ache in his gut. All he had left was the ship and his memories. Why had he made this choice? He filled the empty spaces and the vacant hours with lies, telling them to himself with the same driving rhythm of his hammer. Only it had never been so hard before, his words had never felt so hollow. His treasure was broken as surely as his dreams and all the wishing in the world wasn’t going to make it better. Still he kept on going, kept on making up stories about what he would do when he managed to fix everything, when he would sail off. He was torn, still too hurt to know which he wanted more, between finding his nakama and proving himself right and just leaving, a captain in more than name at last. Fate, that strange mistress that had always wrapped herself around Luffy and company in mysterious ways and apparently still counted him as one of their number, took the choice from him.

Little white lies had never hurt anyone. This he had always believed. And so, when the tale of the Great Captain Usopp failed to bring him any comfort, he turned to a new story. The mask let him hide and in that he found comfort. So what if everyone else knew him? Luffy’s eyes had shone with that trusting wonder and amazement he knew he needed so very much. When he was able, the mask would come off. If Luffy was willing to give him one last chance, he was ready for one more time.


Lyrics:

AMBULANCE by TV on the Radio

Your slim frame
Your eager eyes and your wild mane
Oh they keep me where I belong
All wrapped up in wrong

You're to blame
For wasted words of sad refrain
Oh let them take me where they may
Believe me when I say

I will be your accident if you will be my ambulance
And I will be your screech and crash if you will be my crutch and cast
And I will be your one more time if you will be my one last chance
oh fall for me

Your slim frame
Your simple stare and your wrong, wrong name
Oh they keep me where I belong
All strung out in song

Why so tame
We could shoot wilder vines
Through younger veins
Sip slow from night's deep wells
And watch our gardens swell
Once the seeds are sown
Wild and overgrown, you'll see
Heart's colors changed like leaves

Oh sweet sweet tree
Fall for me
Fall fast, fall free, fall for me

Because I will be your ambulance if you will be my accident
And I will be your screech and crash if you will be my crutch and cast
And I will be your one more time if you will be my one last chance

Oh sweet tree, fall with me
Fall fast, fall free, fall with me


I have long wanted to write a companion piece from Luffy's POV but never felt motivated until now. Having watched through the end of Enies Lobby in the anime, I was struck as I listened to a cd on the drive home. It's sad but I think ultimately hopeful. It's lovely and just...well, I don't think this fic does the song or my earlier work justice but at least I finally have a set and can maybe leave this era behind.

Title: Mind Cage
Rating: PG
Pairing: LuSopp
Word Count: 1563



It was like something out of a dream or a tale. There, amidst the smoke and hail of bullets, he stood like a phantom or a ghost, a figure Luffy had never expected to see. If he’d had the strength, he’d have rubbed at his eyes, tried to blink away the sting of sweat and the gritty battle dust. But he couldn’t move, not even to raise a single finger. For a moment he thought he was dying, and this was a figment his own mind had conjured up to torment him in his final moments, to show him his greatest failure and compound it with the one he faced. But then familiar lips opened and a voice he could never forget, never mistake, poured out. The words didn’t register, not at first. But the tone did; he knew it all too well. It hurt too much for him to be dead.

The broad expanse of beach flashed before his mind’s eye, the fog and steam that had swept across its desolate expanse so similar to the view he had now before him. But that was the only similarity for he hadn’t been fighting an enemy there. No, it had been his nakama, one of his own. He’d laughed and cried and played and spilled blood with this man, had moved into a direction he’d never imagined nor expected when he’d set out to become a pirate. He’d loved him in a way that was too hard to put into words and maybe that had been the heart of the problem.

Lying on the broken floor, body wracked with a pain even worse than what he’d felt when Crocodile had stuck a hook through his chest, he knew he needed to get up, to fight, but he was trapped in the feelings in shouted words, caught fast inside his head just as surely as his body was trapped by its own limitations. It wasn’t fair. He hadn’t wanted to lose Merry either. He loved his ship, his special seat. It was their home, the place where his nakama lived and adventured together, and to be told that Merry couldn’t go on any further had brought him to his knees. Throw in a kidnapping and a robbery and it had been too much. Too hard.

Zoro was always telling him, in ways tiny and obscure and sometimes with blunt directness, that he was the captain. And being the captain, as he’d finally found, wasn’t nearly as easy as it looked. He liked making decisions about meat and adventures. Having to choose to give up on Merry, though, tore at him. In the end, the conclusion was obvious. Merry was a nakama but not in the same was as all the people who had lived and traveled on that valiant craft. Never, no matter what he had to endure, would Luffy give up on those nakama. He would gladly die before that would happen. And they had a future ahead of them, goals to reach, that the Merry sadly could no longer help them reach. Merry would be put to rest and on they would go, never forgetting but not looking back.

That night, that awful evening, he’d stared as Chopper did his work, heart heavy with the truth as babbled apologies only multiplied the pain of what he had to say. He’d snapped – and he could admit it to himself as soon as it was all over – and lost his temper. Words, he’d never be as good with them, and they’d hit him with the sting of arrows until he’d had to fight back with what he was best with, his fists. Luffy had watched as warm brown eyes widened in shock and then narrowed in a pain he knew wasn’t from any physical wound. And that had been that, all it took to end his world, and even as Sanji kicked him to the floor, he’d been resigned.

Pride was their downfall. Pride and stubbornness and Nami had cried and clawed at him but she just didn’t understand. The choice had been made and to back out would have undermined both of them. There could be only one captain, even if he didn’t have a ship, and he was that man. Reality hurt and he questioned every bond, every tie, and found the wrong knots loose or overly constricting. In the dawn, they’d squared off and he had honestly been surprised. He shouldn’t have been and that knowledge had battered one more nail into his heart and he sent out his fist without pulling his strength. When he led what was left of his battered crew away, he had cried but he never looked back.

Now, though, now he was looking, seeing it all in bright flashes. The shaking knees and the pure defiance back in Syrup village, the undiluted love for Merry, the first time they fired the cannon and the smear of red paint that had crossed one cheek after the sail had been expertly painted. Experiments and explosions and imperfect chemistry had kept him entertained and clever stories and tall tales and the occasional lie that even he could see through passed the time, filled the long hours on the sea. Art spilled from nimble fingers and gadgets both useful and pointless rattled around the galley to amuse them all. False bravado, genuine strength, those had both been present but it was the courage, the kind that came from deep within, that he saw the most. And Luffy hadn’t been the one to take the first step and that was telling.

He could picture clearly the reflection of stars in those eyes, feel the warmth of the hands that had closed around his arms. That kiss had opened his eyes, shocked him with how happy it had made him, how right it had felt. They’d been nakama but now there was an extra dimension filled with something he hadn’t even known he’d been missing. Wrestling on deck led to careless kisses and now Luffy had a reason to be cold if only to share a blanket and sneaky fingers. Sweet whispers and sacred vows in the dark swelled his heart and he had returned them with gentle hands and uncomplicated trust.

And he’d betrayed the trust he’d given, he’d promised with every returned kiss and caress, with a single blow. Violence solved some things but it couldn’t mend a broken heart and the Merry had helped to break both of theirs. Someday, he’d hoped, they would meet again on better terms. Captain to captain maybe, without pride and self-image in the way. Perhaps understanding would have happened, forgiveness just as he had forgiven as soon as the heat of anger and despair had dissipated. They could pile the tables together, share a feast, sing songs and talk about the ancient past. It wouldn’t be the same, could never be, but it would be something.

Sogeking had appeared, a friend, and that had given him a measure of hope. He wasn’t forgotten or completely abandoned, and if the king of snipers was oddly familiar, he could only pin it on the longing of his heart and the same thin, prominent nose. A sharpshooter by his side, something he’d needed, and it was enough, barely, to see him through the fight for Robin. But now Robin was safe with the rest of his nakama and maybe he could just rest…

Except that Usopp was there, somehow, on the ruined Bridge of Hesitation, and shouting at him. The sniper wouldn’t shut up, wouldn’t let him close his eyes, and now he was practically crying, his voice thick with held-in sobs as he taunted the pigeon guy and made himself a target. That, the thought of that bastard cat getting his claws on Usopp and ripping his throat out without a second’s hesitation, those fat spotted paws trampling his body as the government fanatic sneered in disgust, was enough. Joints aching, bones screaming in protest, Luffy shakily climbed to his feet. Usopp, no matter that he’d left the crew and wasn’t his nakama, no matter that he had come only for Robin, was someone important to him. He couldn’t let Usopp die while he lay on the ground in a pathetic heap. He had vowed to beat that pigeon guy and he would. He would protect Usopp from this pain because he could. They weren’t in hell yet, after all.

Luffy staggered forward a step, another, stance firming. For one long moment he caught Usopp’s gaze, clung to the roiled emotions he could see churning in them. And then he turned to Lucci’s spotted, furry back and balled his fist. “Win and we’ll all go back together,” he heard Usopp say, a promise there and one that swelled in Luffy’s chest until it felt like it would burst. “Of course,” he promised back, captain’s power behind his words, and finally tore his attention away from the sniper. “Of course,” he vowed under his breath. No way was this pigeon idiot going to beat him. He was strong enough and his nakama, every single last one of them, was strong enough, and together they could take on the world and win. Afterwards, maybe, he could hear Usopp tell the whole story and they would treat their wounds and go from there. Forward, always, and together.


Lyrics:

EDEN ECHO by Kamelot

First you said that you would never leave me
Merry were my days
Then you told me life is never easy
And left without a trace

But how come I want you
Like the soil yearns for the rain

Won't you light up
Won't you light up my life
Let my soul breathe
Tell me wrong tell me right
You're my mind cage
Like a mountain far away
You were always there
Dressed in summer white

You will never know how much I miss you
Or open to my fear
Find the maze I made my way through
And enter if you dare
How come I want you
Like the soil yearns for the rain

Won't you light up
Won't you light up my life
Let my soul breathe
Tell me wrong tell me right
You're my mind cage
Like a mountain far away
You were always there
Dressed in summer white

Remember my name
And paint the darkness with your light
Go sing your song for all the broken hearted
Like Eden echoes in my head
The unforgiven gave you all

Won't you light up
Won't you light up my life
Let my soul breathe
Tell me wrong tell me right
You're my mind cage
Like a mountain far away
You were always there
Dressed in summer white

Comments

[doewiebele.livejournal.com]

Wow! Beyond awsome... I can't wait to read the other plotbunnies!

It were two really great stories~!

[dethorats]

Thank you! They will hopefully be coming soon.

[astrokender.livejournal.com]

*__*

[dethorats]

XP

[monkfish17.livejournal.com]

oooooooo yessss! LuUso fics <3 this made my day

[dethorats]

Heee! I'm glad you enjoyed. PS: my BF loves your icon.

[monkfish17.livejournal.com]

thanks XD Everyone seems to like seing Chopper put sticks up her bum....

[scribe-protra.livejournal.com]

lkdlsdkksdlksj;sd I love youuuuuuu. The second one made me choke up.

[dethorats]

I think I damn near almost-cried the entire way through the last quarter of Enies Lobbby and finally Merry got to me but it was close. God Kippei is so GOOD at making Usopp sound awesome and just...when Usopp shouted at Luffy in the anime, I was tearing up. And I just kinda wanted to capture a little bit of that here.

[tonko.livejournal.com]

So much love for this.

[dethorats]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[serrende.livejournal.com]

My God, how did I miss these? Out of the blue (or rather, out of a recommendation made by scribe_protra in a thread on onepieceyaoi I find two fics that I must deem among the best Luffy/Usopp fics and among the best Water 7/Enies Lobby fics I've read! Thank you ever so much for writing them and sharing them with us.

I found them equally good and poignant. Although possibly "Mind Cage" does stand out a little extra bit - at least initially - as Luffy POVs are harder and probably rarer, and not the least because it's the first in-depth look at that scene from Luffy's POV that I've seen. And also because it captures so much of what I felt for this while reading the manga - and watching the anime, because it was very well done there, too - and as with the best fics, also expressing things I might not have thought of myself but making perfect sense. This is golden. But even so, "Believe Me When I say" feels just as well-written.

I really liked seeing Luffy's thought about how meeting Sogeking helped, because that's something I felt myself but has rarely seen expressed elsewhere - the fact that Sogeking claims to come to help out because Usopp asked him to. One feels that has got to have made some kind of difference to Luffy.

Little unnecessary observation - not a genuine nitpick:

And he’d betrayed the trust he’d given, he’d promised with every returned kiss and caress, with a single blow.

When reading this I thought for half a second you'd meant to put "had promised" instead of "he'd promised" - then I realised the above is just as correct so you most likely didn't. But then I couldn't stop thinking of it as "had promised" in my head. That's probably just my own problem, though.

I wonder if I might possibly friend you in order not to miss out similar gems in the future? If not, no big deal, I'll just have to remember to check...

[dethorats]

Thank you for such a lovely comment! It's the kind that I should leave but am often too lazy to do so and I'm very glad to read it for it helps me reflect on my writing.

Your observation is good. They'd both work and, upon looking at it, I think maybe my usage would have read more effectively had it been set off wtih dashes rather than commas but I am a comma fiend and didn't really notice that until now.

Certainly you may friend me! It's always nice to meet new people, esp. One Piece fans. Fair warning, though. I write Luffy/Usopp VERY rarely. It's mainly ZoSopp, Shanks/Ben, and LuZo around here along with more random OP and Metalocalypse. But if that doesn't bother you, feel free to friend away. I shall certainly do the same. ^_^

[serrende.livejournal.com]

Muy cool. That's quite okay; I didn't mean "similar gems" as necessarily "much more of my favourite pairing", but rather "more good writing in general". I've enjoyed your fics previously when I've seen them posted on comms, so now I feel I don't want to miss out on those that only get posted here. I may skip out on the ZoLu ones though...just personal preference...although the one you wrote recently on onepieceyaoi100 was pretty damn touching...

Re-reading "Mind Cage" this morning (for pleasure), I caught two other nitpicks:

Merry was a nakama but not in the same was as all the people who had lived and traveled on that valiant craft.

not in the same way

In the dawn, they’d squared off and he had honestly been surprised.

Actually, the duel was at night, around ten o' clock. Unless the anime changed this?

[oddrid.livejournal.com]

Holy fuckballs I just have to say that (1) these fic are amazing and (2) TV on the Radio is one of my favorite bands. When I got to the end of the first fic and saw "Ambulance," I immediately recognized the words "slim frame" that were echoed through the text. It is even better reading it a second time through.

Have I ever told you that you have perfect Usopp characterization? ♥

[dethorats]

Why thank you! I'm very flattered that you think so. I really enjoy writing Usopp; I find him the easiest of the Straw Hats to write, but I think that it is because he's the most normal out of all of them so we normal people can relate to him the easiest.

And I'm very glad you liked the story. I found those lyrics extremely inspiring.