30 Kisses Fic - Shanks and Ben version #3
Jul. 18th, 2005 05:59 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dethoratsI don't know why, but whenever I try to write Shanks and Ben fic for 30Kisses, it comes out very crack-ish. This one is weird, has stupid dialogue and makes cheap use of the theme.
Theme: Excessive Chain
Title: Ass
Rating: PG
Word Count: 854
Time: Like 45 minutes maybe
“You…” Ben paused, as if savoring his words. “…are an ass.”
Shanks grinned, gave a full body shimmy from his perch on the barstool. “Yeah, you know you like it.”
“Hmm, while that may be true, my proclamation was meant to be taken another way.”
It took a moment for the full weight of this statement to sink in, but when it did there was no escaping the glint of anger in hazel eyes nor the slight pout in the captain’s tone.
“Why would ya say somethin’ like that?”
Ben easily read the warning signs, but he wasn’t about to back down. There were many occasions when Shanks failed to appreciate subtlety, and this would be one of them. Still he liked playing head games and it wasn’t that often that he managed to get one completely over the other man.
“I said you were an ass, mind. I didn’t say you were an asshole, or a jerk, or a dick or anything of that nature. Nor did I say you were stupid or an idiot, even though you occasionally are. Think about it for a moment and maybe you’ll see the point I’m trying to make.”
Shanks frowned, making that adorable moue of concentration that Ben was so fond of. It was sometimes hard to get the other man to think deeply, but it appeared that personal insults would do the trick.
“So, you think I’m an ass? I don’t understand what yer getting’ at. What brought this on? Weren’t we just sittin’ here enjoying a couple a drinks?”
Too cute indeed. Especially with the addition of confusion. Almost enough to make him take back the comment, but not quite. He did have his reasons after all. And a few more choice words and he’d have provided Shanks with more than enough rope to hang himself.
“Mmm. True. I had been sitting here enjoying my beer. It was one of multiple beverages, if you’ll remember.” Ben waved a hand carelessly in the direction of the door. “As you can see, it’s now quite dark outside. I believe we’ve been in this establishment for a rather long span of time already. Thus, the total number of drinks consumed, especially judging by the newly reduced weight of my wallet, must be rather high.”
Red brows knit together as Shanks attempted to follow along. Ben hid a small grin. There was nothing better than speaking in the academic style they’d favored at the University to rattle the captain, especially when even his hearty constitution had to be feeling the effects of all the alcohol they’d had.
“Okay, so yer sayin’ we’ve drank a lot. We do that all th’ time. Don’t see what this’s got to do with callin’ me an ass.”
“Don’t worry. I’m coming to that. So, as I stated, I’d been sitting here with you, quite satisfactorily drinking away the afternoon. And then I heard the call of nature. You did too, apparently, albeit one of a different kind.”
“What?”
“A call of nature…” At Shanks’ blank stare, Ben shook his head. Really, sometimes he wondered how it was possible he had fallen for such a person. “You know…I had to go.”
“Go where?”
Was Shanks just trying to get him back? No, his eyes were hazy, far closer to outright drunkenness than Ben had realized. “To the bathroom.”
“Oh. Why didn’t ya say so?”
“Never mind that. Anyway, I heard a call…I went to the bathroom. Apparently, while I was gone, you must have gotten hungry.”
“Yeah. Yeah I did. I had some pie. Really good pie.” Shanks’ face had a dreamy look as he remembered his pie. “But that still doesn’t explain yer callin’ me an ass.”
Sighing, Ben realized there was just no hope for it. Perhaps there never had been. His own fault for being in a weird mood, maybe. Whatever the reason, the farce had gone on long enough. “Fine. Maybe this will help.”
One hand shoved his mug over in front of Shanks, the other reached underneath his own rear, searching beneath the cape that had been casually draped over it when he returned from using the facilities. The fork had been most uncomfortable. Thankfully several layers of fabric had saved his ass from any actual punctuation. Shanks was staring in incomprehension into the mug in front of him. Truly the man was on the near side of wasted. Peevishly Ben jabbed the fork into the mug, came back out with a hunk of pie. He waved it around, then shoved it between slack, shocked lips.
“Gah!” Shanks gagged on the taste but Ben didn’t bother to pull the fork back.
“Eat it, dammit. Do you know how shitty blueberry pie makes beer taste? Or how uncomfortable it was to sit on that thing?”
“I oo ow.” Shanks mumbled, grimacing as he chewed and swallowed. “Why’d ya sit on the fork for so long?”
“You know,” Ben paused, took a sip of ruined beer, and laughed. “Perhaps I’m an ass myself.”
And he leaned over and shared one rather foul-tasting kiss with his ass of a captain.
Theme: Excessive Chain
Title: Ass
Rating: PG
Word Count: 854
Time: Like 45 minutes maybe
“You…” Ben paused, as if savoring his words. “…are an ass.”
Shanks grinned, gave a full body shimmy from his perch on the barstool. “Yeah, you know you like it.”
“Hmm, while that may be true, my proclamation was meant to be taken another way.”
It took a moment for the full weight of this statement to sink in, but when it did there was no escaping the glint of anger in hazel eyes nor the slight pout in the captain’s tone.
“Why would ya say somethin’ like that?”
Ben easily read the warning signs, but he wasn’t about to back down. There were many occasions when Shanks failed to appreciate subtlety, and this would be one of them. Still he liked playing head games and it wasn’t that often that he managed to get one completely over the other man.
“I said you were an ass, mind. I didn’t say you were an asshole, or a jerk, or a dick or anything of that nature. Nor did I say you were stupid or an idiot, even though you occasionally are. Think about it for a moment and maybe you’ll see the point I’m trying to make.”
Shanks frowned, making that adorable moue of concentration that Ben was so fond of. It was sometimes hard to get the other man to think deeply, but it appeared that personal insults would do the trick.
“So, you think I’m an ass? I don’t understand what yer getting’ at. What brought this on? Weren’t we just sittin’ here enjoying a couple a drinks?”
Too cute indeed. Especially with the addition of confusion. Almost enough to make him take back the comment, but not quite. He did have his reasons after all. And a few more choice words and he’d have provided Shanks with more than enough rope to hang himself.
“Mmm. True. I had been sitting here enjoying my beer. It was one of multiple beverages, if you’ll remember.” Ben waved a hand carelessly in the direction of the door. “As you can see, it’s now quite dark outside. I believe we’ve been in this establishment for a rather long span of time already. Thus, the total number of drinks consumed, especially judging by the newly reduced weight of my wallet, must be rather high.”
Red brows knit together as Shanks attempted to follow along. Ben hid a small grin. There was nothing better than speaking in the academic style they’d favored at the University to rattle the captain, especially when even his hearty constitution had to be feeling the effects of all the alcohol they’d had.
“Okay, so yer sayin’ we’ve drank a lot. We do that all th’ time. Don’t see what this’s got to do with callin’ me an ass.”
“Don’t worry. I’m coming to that. So, as I stated, I’d been sitting here with you, quite satisfactorily drinking away the afternoon. And then I heard the call of nature. You did too, apparently, albeit one of a different kind.”
“What?”
“A call of nature…” At Shanks’ blank stare, Ben shook his head. Really, sometimes he wondered how it was possible he had fallen for such a person. “You know…I had to go.”
“Go where?”
Was Shanks just trying to get him back? No, his eyes were hazy, far closer to outright drunkenness than Ben had realized. “To the bathroom.”
“Oh. Why didn’t ya say so?”
“Never mind that. Anyway, I heard a call…I went to the bathroom. Apparently, while I was gone, you must have gotten hungry.”
“Yeah. Yeah I did. I had some pie. Really good pie.” Shanks’ face had a dreamy look as he remembered his pie. “But that still doesn’t explain yer callin’ me an ass.”
Sighing, Ben realized there was just no hope for it. Perhaps there never had been. His own fault for being in a weird mood, maybe. Whatever the reason, the farce had gone on long enough. “Fine. Maybe this will help.”
One hand shoved his mug over in front of Shanks, the other reached underneath his own rear, searching beneath the cape that had been casually draped over it when he returned from using the facilities. The fork had been most uncomfortable. Thankfully several layers of fabric had saved his ass from any actual punctuation. Shanks was staring in incomprehension into the mug in front of him. Truly the man was on the near side of wasted. Peevishly Ben jabbed the fork into the mug, came back out with a hunk of pie. He waved it around, then shoved it between slack, shocked lips.
“Gah!” Shanks gagged on the taste but Ben didn’t bother to pull the fork back.
“Eat it, dammit. Do you know how shitty blueberry pie makes beer taste? Or how uncomfortable it was to sit on that thing?”
“I oo ow.” Shanks mumbled, grimacing as he chewed and swallowed. “Why’d ya sit on the fork for so long?”
“You know,” Ben paused, took a sip of ruined beer, and laughed. “Perhaps I’m an ass myself.”
And he leaned over and shared one rather foul-tasting kiss with his ass of a captain.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-07-18 05:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-18 07:05 pm (UTC)Shanks’ face had a dreamy look as he remembered his pie. Shanks is such a dork!
no subject
Date: 2005-07-19 05:05 am (UTC)You know, I wasn't really sure where to go with it either. It just kind of...happened. Hence the crackishness.
no subject
Date: 2005-07-20 12:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-20 04:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-20 04:47 am (UTC)Incidentally, did you somehow sign yourself out the last time you commented on my journal? I got an anonymous comment, but a quick comparison of IP addresses ensured that it was in fact you and not a freakish Price Impersonator.
no subject
Date: 2005-07-20 04:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-22 07:20 pm (UTC)