I'd probably be more help to you, ultimately, if I were familiar with this part of canon. (I'm not at a point where I've met Hina or Tashigi yet.) But I like the way you capture Tashigi's anxiety and tension, and I think you do a good job of providing exposition without boring the reader into submission; you say just what the reader needs to know for an up-to-speed, but without stultifying or going into unnecessary detail.

I can't think of anything that I actively dislike about this fic, to be honest. Well done. :D

Oh, and I love the unconventional kiss. ^_^